Enough

     Who are you really? If you were to become the real you… Who would you be? In the deepest parts of our heart are etched the words that say who it is that we truly are. If we want to find our genuine self we must go into the storehouses of our memory. It’s amazing, but our hearts remember things that our brains have long since forgotten. So today let's start a journey...

     I’d like to begin this journey by sharing with you a part of my story…

     I’ve always been very strong-willed and stubborn. It was my way or else. But I also genuinely loved people, and was heartbroken to see hurting in the world. However, I was always very stuck in my comfort zone. There was no way I was going to step out of my box and put my reputation on the line. I wanted to be safe, and feel no fear. I didn’t want others to catch faults in me, so I did my absolute best to be as perfect as I could be. I didn’t make a scene, I didn’t stand out, and no one could dare catch me with anyone else who was making a scene. 

     All I wanted was to be enough...

     This caused me to be very controlling, to the point where I didn’t even allow others to be themselves because it might hurt how I look. I just simply did not want others to think poorly of me. I wanted to be loved and accepted. I wanted to have friends, to be somebody. I was insecure and not at all confident about myself. I tried way too hard to have people like me, by having my life all put together. I was pretty much a goody two-shoes. 

      All I wanted was to be enough...

     But I found that the more I tried the less I seemed to get noticed. I was the person who wanted so badly for people to laugh at my jokes, but the room would go silent when I would share a joke. I was the one who insisted that my way was the only way because in my mind I was sure it was the only way. 

     All I wanted was to be enough...

     Now, it’s pretty obvious that those are the makings for a very lonely life. In setting myself up as a “perfect and in control” human being, I was also setting myself up for pain. I guess I just didn’t realize at the time that what attracts people is me being real, not me being perfect. After all, no one’s perfect. Did you catch that?  No one is perfect! We all have flaws. So we can stop trying to become perfect! Yes, we need to continually be growing, but we shouldn’t try to achieve perfection… It’s just not possible! 

     I finally came to a point where I realized what I was doing and how it was affecting me. I realized the depths of my hurt. I knew it was time to change my belief systems if I ever wanted to feel like I was enough. I'll be honest... It hasn’t been easy, but it’s proven to be totally worth it. I have discovered so much about myself just because I made that decision. Plus it has brought a fresh and exciting awakening to the core of my being.

     My story doesn’t end with me trying to prove that I was enough. Through the benefit of many amazing opportunities and resources, I discovered, and still am discovering, who I really am. I went back to my heart… I sat in the still and quiet, and listened to my heart speaking. I wanted to hear what it had to say, and I was amazed at what I heard. The words etched onto my heart told me that I am…

Brave

Bold

Beautiful

Loved

Brilliant

Curious

Unashamed

Determined

Confident

Secure

Joyful

Enthusiastic

Precious

     I could go on and on… The words I heard told me something entirely different than the words I had been telling myself up to that point. I once again realized that time and its variety of circumstances had brought me to a place where I was afraid of not being enough. But when I looked back at the pictures my heart had kept stored up through all the years, all that changed. I realized I am enough. I’ll always be enough. No amount of manufacturing myself is going to make me more me. I am already me! With the maturity gained from all that I’ve learned over the years, I need to go back to being that little girl who saw beauty and adventure in everything. I need to go back to believing I can do all things, and that in pursuing my dreams and purpose it does not matter what others think of me. I am me, simply me. I am enough… In fact I’m more than enough! I can stop trying so hard to be a manufactured version of myself. I can just simply be the real, true, genuine me. God loves me for me, so I choose to be just that… Me!

    My hope for you is that you come to a place where you realize who you really are. Take off your masks, throw away your insecurities. Jump on the train that’s going straight to your heart. Sit in the still and quiet, and listen to the words your heart so desires to make known to you. Let it tell you who you really are. It has only good things to say about you, so believe what you hear. I challenge you to make the choice to once again become the real you!


I  now invite you to speak these words over your life… And say it like you mean it!

     I have purpose, and that purpose is found in being who I really am. I have the ability and skills to go accomplish my dreams. I am more than a conqueror, and I push away any limits I may have set up for myself. I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me, and I do not need to be afraid. The peace of God is all around me, and there is absolutely nothing that will stand in His way of protecting me. I am safe even when I choose to step out of my comfort zone. And here in this moment I pledge to become myself again. This time I won’t do it alone, but with the help of the One who created me. I can be me, simply me, and that is enough.