Enough - Why Am I Even Here?

 
     Last time I was with you I challenged you to jump on the train that was heading straight to your heart. I challenged you to find out who the real you was. I sincerely hope you accepted the challenge because it can make such a big difference in your life! 

     But what if after jumping on the train you get to the destination and you don't like what you find, or it's painful? Today's sub-title is "Why Am I Even Here?".

     What I want to talk about today is very real. Every time you go to your heart amazing opportunities are there waiting for you. Unbelievable discoveries are waiting to be made. Every time! Without fail! But it's not always sunshine and roses. So what do you do?

     I think the first thing we often do when we get to our heart is we take a quick look around and then run because we're terrified. We're scared of the pain that might be awakened if we poke around too much. We're scared of the things we buried for so long which we never wanted to have come to life again. We're scared of the bad memories, scared of the hurtful words that we stored up, and we're scared of ourselves. We ask ourselves... "Why am I even here?" 

     We can't understand how it is possible that we have any worth at all. We feel so useless. We can't understand how it is possible that we have something to offer. And quite frankly, we don't believe we do. We are convinced that we are nothing and we have no reason whatsoever to be here. We are convinced that the world would just keep spinning on regardless of whether or not we are here. We sit on our beds, tears streaming down our cheeks, looking at all the gory details of our pain. We can't get beyond our feeling of utter worthlessness. 

     When we dive deep into our hearts and find out that pain does exist there it is so easy to come up with a thousand "why" questions. "Why am I not enough? Why can't I be skinnier? Why can't I be more talented? Why am I good for nothing? Why does no one like me? Why does my life suck so much?  Why, why, why? Why am I even here?

     There's nothing wrong with asking "Why?".  In fact God wants us to ask "why" questions. And the question "Why am I even here?" is one that he has an answer to right away. You are here because you have a purpose. You were put on this planet to do something that only you can do. You bring something special and important to the table. God knows the world needs your story. And you have the incredible opportunity to make His glorious name known. What an honor! 

Let's jump back to the "why" for a bit... What kind of "why" questions you ask does matter. The kind mentioned in the above paragraph will get you nowhere. And they will bring you absolutely nothing besides heartache and pain. They are questions that tear you down to the ground and once again confirm all your greatest fears... That you are not enough... 

     But there are "why" questions you can ask and should ask that will give you an entirely different perspective. Life is deep. We all have to admit to that. But a lot of times we're scared to go to those deep places so we choose to rather live a shallow life. We don't let others in, and we don't let ourselves in. But this is exactly where you should start asking "why" questions. Why is it that you don't want to go there? What is your reason for that in the first place? Even just asking that will require you to go to your heart. But listen, that's the beauty of it! If we don't go to our hearts there is no way on earth our lives will ever be able to improve. So unless you go there you are going to stay on the exact same path you've been up till now. The path that was excruciatingly difficult and painful.

     Through a great opportunity I learned the importance of asking "Why?". I learned that in the shallow lives that we choose to live, we should instead start asking questions. Because life is deep there are issues we will have to face. That's just the way it is! Plus, why would you spend your entire life living one way when there is a chance for a better more real life. That chance only comes by asking "Why?". 

     When the deep stuff comes choose to rather face it head on than run from it. Choose to look at it closely. Examine it, see what it's made of. Determine whether it's truth or lies. Put it to the test. Don't just take it at its word. It's amazing how sneaky the devil can get. Just like Eve in the Garden of Eden we sometimes believe a lie to be truth. And you know why? Because we believe everything we hear, and take it all to heart. Now, I'm not saying you should become a skeptic, but please Beautiful! Ask "Why?"! 

     And you know what? It's ok if your brain gets a little tired. It's good for you! Plus in case you forgot, that's what your brain was made for. To think. It would do us all some good to start going to those deep places. There are so many great things down there waiting to make themselves known. 

     And if you're afraid of the pain, that's ok. Pain hurts. It just does. And I get that. But I have found that the moments when I went deep into my heart, despite the pain, were the moments where I grew by far the most. Those were the moments I discovered the most about myself. The moments where I was confident of the fact that God was NEVER going to leave me or forsake me. The same can absolutely be true for you too! Take the journey...

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      God, I'm here. I'm here acknowledging the fact that I'm a runner. I run from the deep parts of my heart because I'm scared. But God, from this moment on I choose to trust in your peace and your protection. To trust you! You will never take me somewhere I can't handle! Your arms are always ready to catch me. And your promises are always ready to tell me that I am here for a reason. God, in YOU I am safe. I have nothing  to fear, and I can walk forward in your assurance knowing that every brave step I take leads me one step closer to the amazing life you have for me. Thank you that I have the opportunity to take this journey. And thank you that you are always with me; until the end of the age! I love you!